Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
