I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
