Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
