I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize