better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
