I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she smelled like a LAN party
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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