I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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