You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
