Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
