how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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