escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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