Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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