My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
