Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry LuvDcolby hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

Fav 143 4605 1121
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

Fav 23 6217 1001
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

Fav 11 1508 6407
share tweet
(204): View more from Manitoba

Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.

Fav 24 1373 5254
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

Im just a social blackout drinker.

Fav 6 3744 1879
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.

Fav 7 876 2677
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!

Fav 2 1530 719
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.

Fav 1 658 191
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox

Fav 0 27 121
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT