Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
