to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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