i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
