OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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