I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
