I wannas sexs uuuuu
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
