she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
