Me. At least after what I've been through.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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