Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
