i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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