so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize