I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
