Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
