and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
