He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
