I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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