Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize