If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
