Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize