My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
