I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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