if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
