why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
