it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
