Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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