some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
