Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
