I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
