i jhust puked up my retainher.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
