Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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