Having a random hookup so left but love u
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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