If i come over, it means nothing
Pappa wants mamma naked
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize