Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
