Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
