1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize