is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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