It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
