He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
