I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
God, I missed his penis.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
