We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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