I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
