Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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