piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
