my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am mentally ready for anal.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
