I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
