i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
